I know a whole lot of people who want to have more positivity in their life and get rid of the negative rut they feel they are in. Maybe you’re one of them and the good news is, it’s pretty simple to cure.
In order to cure something though, we’ve first got to understand what the heck negativity actually is in the first place. I think the simplest way to explain negativity is something or a combination of things that drain you of energy whereas positivity is energising.
What energises and drains one person may not another – negativity isn’t an absolute thing, it’s down to the perception of the person so it’s super important to get clear on what YOU perceive as negative influences in your life that drain you.
‘Negative’ or ‘positive’, these are only emotional labels used to simplify our lives by putting things into neat categories we can understand and file away.
Yet life isn’t that black an white.
Emotions are simply a form of information, an Energy in Motion that is meant to be left to flow naturally having been felt, learned from and let go. Not stored in boxes and held onto.
Negativity serves a purpose, just as positivity does – the problems lie when either is over played and when we start judging the experience as ‘good’ or ‘bad’. Humans are born to feel, and not all experiences are pleasant. And that’s ok. To have a full appreciation of a situation it’s important to balance the ‘good’ with the not so.
Positive states of mind are shown to be more creative, more resourceful and solution focused yet if we focus purely on the positive all the time we risk missing the opportunity to improve what’s not actually working or serving us. Just as focusing purely on the negative is taking away the richness of the full experience on offer.
And we are all wired differently – depending on your personality you may be more ‘problem’ focused than others. This is ok and a strength in itself, just be careful, like any strength, not to over play it.
So what is the cure for negativity?
I hope you now have an appreciation of the value negativity can bring and as such it’s not a case of ‘curing’ it, rather managing it so you can learn from the situations that trigger that not so pleasant emotional response and move on. So my invitation to you is to consider the following as a simple strategy that helps you to feel it, learn from it and let it go so you can grow.
Energy flows where focus goes so by focusing on what’s wrong we’re priming our brain to spot more of it. Not focuses on it isn’t denying it’s existence, it’s simply choosing to deal with it from an empowered state rather than a weakened one.
Notice how you feel when a ‘negative’ experience comes your way and choose to learn from it. Being burned once when you put your hand over a fire may well be unfortunate but you know now the pain it causes. If you place your hand over the flame again knowing what you know, it then becomes a choice. Choose to do avoid the pain – you can still watch the fire and make much more of a difference. if necessary, when you are ok.
When we train ourselves to spot the good things in life, the things, people and experiences that make our lives better, easier or more enjoyable we begin to see more ‘positive’ than ‘negative’. Again, this isn’t denying that ‘bad’ stuff happens – it just places us in a far more resourceful place to deal with it.
We all have 3 choices:
- Repeat the same behaviour and get the same results
- Repeat the same behaviour and hope for different results
- Change our behaviour
Develop an approach to life of acceptance and gratitude and you will begin to notice ‘negativity’ loses its power. The actions and experiences that are ‘negative’ may well still be there, or you may notice they are not. But you will feel and be stronger regardless.
And when it comes to other peoples energy, the most effective thing you can do is to manage your own energy to ensure you are able to stay in a resourceful state. This may mean minimising the time you spend with them, change the activities you do to help energise yourself and them, alter your routine to sandwich the ‘negativity’ in between some ‘positivity’ or simply having a conversation with them around how their behaviour makes you feel. Energy is infectious, if you spend time around people in a negative state it may well rub off on you as you take on their ‘stuff’. Be mindful of this and physically shake it off when you become aware of this. And just as negativity is catching, so is positivity…so hang about with people who are in a state of mind you want to be in. And sprinkle your own happiness wherever you go. It’s amazing the power we each have inside…it’s up to us how we use it.
I’d love you to share your thoughts and experiences of letting go of negativity. And as always please feel free to share this post with anyone who may benefit.