Heather Bestel came recommended as a woman on purpose and this was my first time connecting with her. She is one of life’s tonics – even just listening to her voice is soothing. Imagine a voice which you can breathe in and it calms your soul.
That’s Heathers voice.
Heather is a therapist and coach to trade, she, like many people trained in this area after being through therapy herself to reconcile and heal from an abusive childhood. One which had created a downward spiral of addictive behaviours that culminates in a good friend telling her straight – you need to get help.
And so her journey of healing and discovering her purpose began.
Yet looking back, Heather had always had a ‘knowing’, remembering herself at age 7 or 8 with a sense she was here for a reason. Heathers mum unfortunately wasn’t there for her in the way we hope and imagine mums to be…to make us feel safe and be a loving presence in our lives. She often took responsibility for things to deflect the consequences away from her little brother and she thinks that this environment planted the seed that she was here to help people.
And while Heather may have lacked a mother figure she did have another woman who was a positive presence in her life: a woman who presented herself in a blue circle who would warmly wish her goodnight. Heather wondered whether this lady was created from her imagination or was a spirit guide but in truth it doesn’t matter does it? The only thing that does matter was that her presence was helpful. In fact, Heather took this ladies presence to mean that she was born for some other purpose. One yet to be discovered.
Therapy strips you bare and forces you to be honest with yourself. And Heathers therapist set change in motion with the simple question:
‘What do you need to change?’
Heather had built a strong victim mentality – that life was unfair and yes it HAD been unfair but that belief became a self fulfilling prophecy as it so often does…when we are unconsciously looking for things that support the reality we believe is true, we generally find what we’re looking for…whether that reality is ‘good’ or ‘bad’.
Heather knew she wanted blame to be shared and responsibility to be taken for the things that had happened in her childhood. THAT is what she needed.
And on being asked, ‘What if you never get it?’ Heather realised she had a choice.
Her defining moment came with the thought,
‘What if I NEVER get that apology?’
She COULD carry on waiting for life to happen, for those apologies to happen, for her pain to be recognised OR she could take back responsibility for creating her own life on her own terms.
And so Heather started walking her talk and started her transformation, with the more she learned and applied and transformed personally the more she found herself becoming the expert helping others transform themselves.
It was during this time that she discovered her purpose: to find her own inner peace and combine this with her passion of helping people.
And she was good at this and created a ‘successful’ purpose led life. She set up her therapy practice, ran stress management workshops and travelling throughout the country to speaking events. Heather was successful in spreading the message of the importance of self care, balance and inner peace
Which does absolutely seem on purpose. Yet while Heather WAS helping so many people she had lost touch with helping herself.
It was at the end of one very frantic day where she had spoken at events in both Edinburgh and London where she caught herself in the irony of the life she had created. Encouraging her audience to adopt a daily practice of meditation because of the profound benefits Heather recognised that she had let her own self care practices slip.
Having missed yet another bedtime tuck in with her daughter she sat down with her husband to tell him she wasn’t happy.
That’s the thing about purpose, it IS that light at in and at the end of the tunnel that focuses your attention and choices. And to that extent it DOES make life easier but it DOESN’T mean it will be easy.
With Heathers purpose being to find her own inner peace and help others find theirs it’s been vital that she learn to say no and have clear boundaries in her own life. And THAT is what she now does. Having learned some tough lessons along the road she and her husband have now created a life in the countryside with their family and balance around her work, serving clients in a way that IS on purpose.
Heather exudes calm…even I could sense that through a laptop!
For those of you who are experiencing chaos in your life and desperately seeking a purpose that lights your way, Heather offers some wonderful nuggets of wisdom.
Perhaps most significantly is the recognition that WE are often the creators of the chaos that surrounds us. That chaos and drama and constant noise serves as a distraction from looking inside ourselves. While this may be challenging to accept its certainly been my own personal and professional experience too…and owning the part we play in how our life IS right now is indeed powerful.
Heather beautifully suggests that you find a way to listen to the whispers of your soul, to listen to your inner child and what they’re drawn to…whether art, an ethos, places, people, music, literature…these are all little sign posts your soul is saying it wants more of.
Go on a retreat to learn how to listen. To create that space that enables you to hear.
And once you sit with it and you become aware of your souls whispers and of your life purpose accept that this CAN mean so many different things…changing career, ending relationships, embracing new beginnings. It may well be easier to stay as you are now but the discomfort of discovering your passion and purpose and then creating your life experience around it WILL be worth it.
Find out more about Heather here: www.heatherbestel.com
If you are curious to discover your passion and purpose, let me help you. I’m running a Discover your Passion and Purpose Challenge with lots of activities, insights and support and you are more than welcome to join here.